Hands Raised, Hearts Open: My PMC 'Living Proof' Story Begins

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I walked into my first PMC Newbies meeting. What I instantly found was a space humming with energy — a room full of people who looked just as nervous, excited, and wide-eyed as I felt. As I took my seat, I could feel a swirl of emotions rising up: fear (or maybe pure terror), gratitude, pride... and then something surprising — disbelief.

Jarrett Collins, the intrepid CEO of the Pan-Mass Challenge, stood at the front with a calm, knowing gaze, he had the kind of presence that steadies any ship in a storm. After a few uplifting words, he posed the question: “Raise your hand (if you’d like) if you’re a ‘living proof’ rider.’”

Without hesitation— I raised my hand. Maybe too quickly. And then it hit me: Wait…what? Me? Why am I raising my hand? Why am I even in this room?

The question bounced around my mind like some kind of philosophical riddle. What does it mean to be a “proof-of-lifer”? Without question it isn’t just a heartbeat.  Or that you’ve survived something unthinkable. That you’ve emerged from your own ashes with a clearer sense of purpose? That you’re here, alive, and still raising your (trembling) hand?  Again, “who, me?”

For me, it meant all of that and more.

Sitting in that room, I realized I was part of a community of quiet warriors — people who had every reason to shrink back, but instead leaned forward. People who were riding for someone they loved, even when that someone turned out to be them!  We were connected not just by the mission of the PMC, but by the sheer audacity of showing up, of saying “YES” to something bigger than ourselves.

That moment reminded me that proof of life isn’t just about having a pulse. It’s about choosing to live fully—with courage, vulnerability, and the occasional raised hand, even if especially when it’s trembling.

The physical and emotional training routines are working together as I continue to get current with who I am; I find myself shedding that which is no longer useful and discovering what purpose means in a new way…it’s a process for sure, I’m not there yet! 

Holding both gratitude and grief seem paradoxical…and yet, they walk beside each other. And for now, they’re walking (and riding!) with me.

If you’d like to contribute to the PMC, please click here.  100% of donated funds go directly to cancer research.  Our collective goal this year is $76 million!